A couple days ago I took a walk with Megan and bumped into one of my old piano students. She walked with us, and in her 9-year-old concern, we had the following conversation:
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9er: I feel so sad for Megan's real mom
Me: you mean her birthmom?
9er: yeah, her birthmom. I just feel sad cause she had Megan and now you have her. I bet she misses Megan and she's really sad.
Me: Yep, I'm sure she does miss Megan.
9er: Why isn't she with her birthmom?
Megan's birthmom couldn't take care of her. She had no home, no money, no job, and she didn't want to have Megan living in poverty. So, she gave Megan to us because we could take care of her.
Does Megan have brothers or sisters? I bet they miss her too.
Yep, she does. And they probably do.
And I feel so sad for you, too. I feel so sad for you that you didn't grow Megan in your tummy. I bet you're really sad.
But I'm not sad! I'm so happy because I get to still be a mommy!
but still... my mom must be happier than you because she grew us her her own tummy.
well, I am just as happy as your mom. I love Megan just as much as your mommy loves you. Megan grew in my heart instead of my tummy.
but I grew in my mommy's tummy AND in her heart
yep, you're right. you did.
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So... I always thought that one of the things I'd say to Megan was that she grew in my heart instead of in my tummy. But, according to a 9-yr-old's logic, that just isn't good enough. I guess I'll have to come up with something else.
6 comments:
that's sweet what you were saying! silly 9-yr-olds!
I think the best we can do is always good enough...that's when God steps in a does what we can't.
That is much easier conversation with a nine year old than say...an insensitive adult! I think, though, that it helps she is not ashamed to be curious. A lot of adults want to ask questions and feel like they shouldn't or can't, but you can see it in their eyes. You know what I mean?
You can still tell Megan you grew her in your heart instead of your tummy. And you had to grow so much love it took YEARS instead of only nine months.
I like what Sarah says - and I say phooey on that girl, even if she's only nine.
I bet the nine year old's mother would be terribly embarrassed if she heard the conversation : )
Sometimes I wonder if those that have to wait longer love their kids more, so in your case 7 times the love. But really, any good parent genuinely loves their kids to the best of their ability regardless of who carried and birthed the baby! So are the ramblings of one without kids...
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