A couple days ago I took a walk with Megan and bumped into one of my old piano students. She walked with us, and in her 9-year-old concern, we had the following conversation:
9er: I feel so sad for Megan's real mom
Me: you mean her birthmom?
9er: yeah, her birthmom. I just feel sad cause she had Megan and now you have her. I bet she misses Megan and she's really sad.
Me: Yep, I'm sure she does miss Megan.
9er: Why isn't she with her birthmom?
Megan's birthmom couldn't take care of her. She had no home, no money, no job, and she didn't want to have Megan living in poverty. So, she gave Megan to us because we could take care of her.
Does Megan have brothers or sisters? I bet they miss her too.
Yep, she does. And they probably do.
And I feel so sad for you, too. I feel so sad for you that you didn't grow Megan in your tummy. I bet you're really sad.
But I'm not sad! I'm so happy because I get to still be a mommy!
but still... my mom must be happier than you because she grew us her her own tummy.
well, I am just as happy as your mom. I love Megan just as much as your mommy loves you. Megan grew in my heart instead of my tummy.
but I grew in my mommy's tummy AND in her heart
yep, you're right. you did.
So... I always thought that one of the things I'd say to Megan was that she grew in my heart instead of in my tummy. But, according to a 9-yr-old's logic, that just isn't good enough. I guess I'll have to come up with something else.