Sunday, May 22, 2011

my band-aid

Today I was asked by a friend to share my experiences with inferility. When I look back upon those horrendous times, I feel like a stone. When I write about all the things we did to figure out what was wrong- the surgery, the trials & errors, the different things we tried- it's all kind of like a blur. I don't really have any emotion when I speak of those things.

The emotion comes in when I start to talk about our precious Megan. When I think of everything we went through and all the pain we experienced in the years previous to her coming to our family, I start to choke. I choke because she was worth every heartache, she was worth every penny. Our little slice of heaven. She is worth the world and I would never change anything we have done... because it led us to her.

Megan is my little band-aid. She makes everything better. When I think of what the future holds- that this Foster Care thing is going to be difficult, that we can't just go make another kid like all my friends get to do- I get a lump in my throat. Our desire to have more children is going to be just as hard as it was to have our first child.

But, like I said, Megan is my little band-aid. All she has to do is smile, and mommy feels better. She knows just when to give me a hug or a smooch on the cheek. Her laughter melts my heart and I know that the Lord sent her little soul to us. She is such a pure child, full of spunk and truth and beauty. My little band-aid of love. I am so grateful for my little band-aid; she mends my soul.


mikensi said...

beautiful! i love that picture! i love that little girl! i love YOU!

Amy said...

I'm glad to hear Megan can help heal you! Her pictures are so adorable, there's no way she wouldn't win your heart in just a second. I hope everything goes well as you continue to try to add to your family.

Adam and Shari Crawford said...

She's adorable :) I was surprised that the hardest thing for me to deal with in infertility was the fact that we wouldn't have a 'step ladder' family. Weird, right? But I had always thought of having kids every couple of years, and it hit me pretty hard that we would never have that.... I can't wait to have a band-aid :)