Friday, January 15, 2010

Offended for no valid reason

Having a baby (or, in my case, buying a baby) is much like getting engaged.

These are both events a girl plans for, from the time she is young. What will your husband look like? Where will you meet? What will his occupation be? The real planning comes in as soon as you start dating that oh-so-amazing-and-flawless man, and start thinking about a wedding date even before you've held hands. You tell all your girlfriends he said the "L-word", and you start looking for engagement rings online. You hint to your parents that they need to save some dough for a possible Day of Joy this summer. You can't wait until you have a ring on your finger so you can show it off on campus, and flash it at every cashier and at every drive-thru. "Yes, I'm taken. I'm a hottie, and you can't have me."

So, the day of engagement-ring-receiving finally arrives. You send a picture of it to your mom. You put a picture on Facebook (well, I never did because FB wasn't around; but, I'm sure I would have). In fact, you even have a party where people give you gifts- just so you can show it off. Your ring is the first thing people want to see when they look at you. After all, you are a new woman! You wonder how much money this ring cost your fiance, and you certainly hope he spent more than he said. Because you're worth it.

After you've seen everyone, and after you've been engaged for awhile, nobody looks at that house-payment sitting on your finger. You wonder why you didn't just go for the CZ; nobody would notice now, and it would have been oodles cheaper. The novelty has worn off, and now you are just one guppy in a sea of engaged ladies. Somehow, you've become just a little less special. Yet, you still expect people to come up to you and say with excitement, "You're engaged! Oh, my! You're so lucky! Let me see that ring! Oh, it's just gorgeous!"

Instead of having the world adore your ring, you get your ring caught on your clothes and you scratch your fiance's hand with it.

As I said above, having a new baby is much the same. At first there is so much excitement, and you can't wait to tell everyone you know. Everyone congratulates you and wants pictures and wants to come over to see her. She is so precious and tiny and new, and, golly, so beautiful. Everywhere you go, you show her off. Every chance you get, you tell someone that you have a beautiful new baby. Then, slowly, the novelty wears off. Everyone already knows you have a little one. Everyone has seen her pictures, and everyone knows she is beautiful.

Yet, you still expect people to come up to you and say "Oh, my! What a beautiful baby! How old is she?" But, sadly, they don't do that any more. And here's where my offensive-ness (is that a word?) comes in. I still look at my little Megan and think she's just so beautiful. I have to look at her every second. I want to show her off everywhere I go, as if she's more special than the next baby (which, of course, she is!).

Anyway, I am almost offended when people just walk past me with their grocery cart. Shouldn't they stop to adore my baby? I am offended when I'm at the Post Office and people don't comment on her beauty. I am offended when I talk to my mom on the phone and she doesn't drop whatever she's doing to hop on a plane to come see Megan. I am offended when I go.... anywhere.... and people don't make a big deal out of her. There is obviously something wrong with all of these people!

For some reason, I think she should still be the center of attention to the whole world. But, I guess I'll have to just face the fact that she's only the center of attention in my world. I can still adore her, I can still comment on her beauty, and I can still look at her pictures.

I know, it's silly. I'm just crazy about her, and I think everyone else should be, too.


Raven said...

That's a great analogy. Welcome to Motherhood, where you don't understand why everyone doesn't realize that you do, in fact, have THE cutest, THE smartest, and THE most adorable kid on the face of the earth. I'm pretty sure most moms (me included!) feel that way and for good reason! That's what makes getting up a million times a night and changing 200,000 diapers worth it! Because they are our everything :)

And, for the record, I still think she's beautiful and I look at every picture you post and I still want to come see her. So, when can we do a game night so I can kiss those precious cheeks of hers? Drop me a line.

Christa Jeanne said...

lol, Harmony, you crack me up! She is a beauty - we need to get together one of these days so I can see her in person! She definitely merits lots and lots of fawning over. :)

Tami said...

I can totally relate! I post all these pictures of my adorable baby and feel sure that within 10 minutes I will have 50 comments of people telling me how cute and adorable he is...what do I get...3 comments (thanks for being one of those 3 by the way :) I mean come on people! When will they catch on?
P.S. I think Megan is the cuttest little thing!

Joanna said...

I'm sure it is just a temporary lull in people adoring her. Put her in a front-facing stroller or Baby Bjorn, walk around the mall for a couple of hours and see what happens.

BTW, I'm sorry WE never got a chance to see her and you over the holidays. I'll just have to keep looking at all the cute Megan pictures, I guess. :)

Bugg's mama said...

Oh, what a darling she is. I am so so SOOOOO happy for you. I just want to squish her cheeks to death.

Adam and Shari Crawford said...

I think that your comparison could apply to all new things in life..... Why can't everyone understand that we're cool ALL the time? ;) If it helps, I still think Megan is absolutely ADORABLE ;)

That Girl said...

Just move to Brazil, hun. Then everyone would make such a fuss over her that you eventually AVOID going out.


Jasmin said...

She is the cutest darn little girl in our family!!!!!!! I am crazy about her... just can't come over and show it :) She is going to have the cutest little personality I can already tell. Look at that darling expression!

mikensi said...

I couldn't agree more with you about scratching your significant other w/ that ring on your hand. I worried about scratching Jae that I just took it off. I don't even wear my ring anymore! (Unless we're going out, then I put it on so ppl don't think I have an out of wedlock baby).